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Consider the moments in which white children are taught to not notice race. There are almost always moments in which a white child hears that it's not good to notice the race of a person of colour. it is rare-to-never that children are told not to notice when someone is white. White is typically not marked in the same way that being Black or Latino/a is marked. Thus a message intended to communicate that "all races are good as each other, don't notice!" is actually received by kids as "it doesn't matter that person is Black or Latino/a, we should like that person anyway." The implication is that blackness or brownness is somehow undesirable or shameful. It shouldn't be held against the person. And, more subtly, we white people are somehow doing well and being kind by not noticing that difference.

— Raising White Kids by Jennifer Harvey (Page 34 - 35)

Such nuanced, complex, challenging conversations are a fundamental necessity of parenting children of colour. No obvious parallels exist for white families. As a result, racial conversations in white families tend to be one-dimensional.

In contrast to "the talk", for example, a one-dimensional teaching becomes "police are safe; go find one if you are in trouble". In contrast to "we should all be equal, we all have equal worth, but we don't get all experience equality", a one-dimensional teaching becomes "we are all equal".

The relatively poor quality of racial conversations between white parents and their children is a key reason why white students look like deer in headlights. For white students in my college classroom the fear is different from what students of colour may experience. Because, prior to this point, they are less likely to have been actively nurtured of their understanding of race and its meaning in their lives, white students are generally far, far behind their peers of colour. Their racial understanding is underdeveloped, at best, deeply confused at worst. Their experience is something like only ever having been taught basic addition and suddenly being thrown into a calculus class.

— Raising White Kids by Jennifer Harvey (Page 14)