In this moment she felt that she had been robbed of an enormous number of
valuable things, whether material or intangible: things lost or broken by her
own fault, things she had forgotten and left in houses when she moved: books
borrowed from her and not returned, journeys she had planned and had not
made, words she had waited to hear spoken to her and had not heard, and the
words she had meant to answer with; bitter alternatives and intolerable
substitutes worse than nothing, and yet inescapable: the long patient
suffering of dying friendships and the dark inexplicable death of love -- all
that she had had, and all that she had missed, were lost together, and were
twice lost in this landslide of remembered losses.